I was walking through town at a pace I feel comfortable at (faster than most) to go to Adrenalin down Hindley Street to get my friends’ Valhalla tickets.
Getting there was fine.
Getting back was not.
Shortly after leaving Adrenalin, four women come out from a building. Two of them are on the too-many-whoppers side of things and the other two are quite nice looking. Shame they were all lighting up cigarettes. I cannot stand the smell of cigarette smoke. To add to this, they had all started chatting nonchalantly to each other at near-light speed and slowed their walking pace to that of a turtle running uphill. They had also spread out shoulder-to-shoulder across the path, preventing anyone (including myself) from passing.
I would’ve said “excuse me”, but… well I’m sure you know how hard it is to get a word in between a conversation between two women. I thought my chances were pretty slim trying to get a syllable in between the four of them.
I waited for the traffic to clear on both sides of the road and crossed, unhindered and at my quick pace. It was wonderful. Three guys suddenly step out, DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME, cutting me off and “assume the position”, shoulder-to-shoulder across the damn path. I tried to pass them but there was a constant flow of “oncoming (pedestrian) traffic” and they were walking almost as slow as the women!
Read this people of Adelaide: If I find you walking slowly through my town and I have somewhere to be. MOVE. Simply put, move to one side. A good rule of thumb is to stay left. Don’t zig-zag along the pathway because that is exactly what I’m doing behind you to try and get past. Also for the weight conscious amongst you, how about walking a little faster?
There’s this little Italian kid on the train, probably aged about 13-14. You know the type. Short hair, and a voice that breaks whenever he speaks. When he does speak (which is almost as constantly as the girls in the story before), his voice cracks. At Islington he puts one foot on the handle of the door of the train and pushes the door open and sticks his head out and yells to his mates. Whilst the train is still moving. His mates board the train (after it has stopped) and they talk as constantly and loudly as he does, each trying to better the other one’s story. I am so tempted that when the train is still moving and this kid has his head out the window just to quietly fold my laptop lid down, get out of my seat and gently push him out the door. If only there weren’t laws against that kind of thing.