It’s strange how over a period of around a millenia or two Christmas has turned from a celebration of an extremely influential human to yet another commercialisation day. It’s just used now as an excuse to empty your wallets and fill stockings. I don’t even believe in Christmas and personally don’t see why I have to celebrate it, I don’t celebrate Rammadan or Hanukkah or any other religious holiday, so why Christmas? I enjoy catching up with family, but it’s just too crazy and commercialised. Here’s some tips to surviving:
- Do the speed limit. It's the black number in the red circle on the white signs. The yellow signs only serve as a warning, and do not change the speed limit. Doing the speed limit ensures that your car is not involved in an unfortunate series of collisions with a sledgehammer, and your tires have no nasty cuts in them.
- Don't put your trolley in the middle of a walkway along with your girlfriend and talk to each other. Move to one side and talk.
- Don't walk slowly. Also in the same vein is stopping suddenly and window shopping.
- Have the right money out before the Checkout Whore is done. This speeds things up so you don't have to dig through your purse looking for that 5c piece from 1989, because the one from 2004 is the year of the birth of your grandson and it's one of a kind.
- Checkout people do not want to hear your life story. Neither do I. Don't mention it. If you want to tell people, write a memoir.
- The parking lot lanes are not an excuse to park your car to let friends/relatives out. There are people behind you that you should take into consideration.
- When a P-Plater with a short temper has parked across from an empty park and looks like he's got his car in Drive, it is not advisable to park directly across from him when there are three other spots directly next to it. Park in any of these three spots and you will not be blasted with an assault of verbal abuse, like a fellow I met today.